Reframing struggles as First World problems fails to help Royal Gala Circle homeowners make mortgage payments
From the WPP archives: Shiny front lawn Happy 18th Birthday balloon bests neighbouring stock High School Graduate sign
Yes Mr. Honda Civic with open headers zipping up, down Queensway or Middlegate or wherever, Applewood hears you; yes Mr. Honda Civic, Applewood knows you invented speed
In stellar English as second language display, three coffee drinkers deconstruct overheard ‘changing complexion of the neighbourhood’ observation, possible slur couched therein
Late-night shots ringing out in Applewood just homeowner’s outsized ice rink cracking during flooding, likely
High cost of Longo’s grocery bags reflected in absent-minded local homeowner’s increasingly pronounced scoliosis
Claims plugged-in Courtland Crescent homeowner, Zoloft, work, Facebook/IG, alcohol, chocolate, opioids, Roblox, caffeine, porn all still contenders for #1 Applewood addiction honours.
From the WPP archives: Organizers of upcoming inaugural Applewood Stroller Brigade Parade vehemently deny Freedom Convoy copycat allegations
18-wheeler observed somehow turning right at bottom of Greening Avenue likened artlessly to Canada turning right at top of America
How Courtland Crescent passerby’s cone of fuck off mistaken for cone of permissible fleeting acknowledgment
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