Applewood homeowners dub their four children Doer, Undoer, Undone, Dude

Nestled within the serene confines of Applewood lies the Peterson household, where the air is often filled with laughter and curiosity, thanks in no small part to the unique names adorning the four Peterson children: Doer, Undoer, Undone, and, perhaps most whimsically, Dude.

Jack and Emily Peterson, the proud parents behind this unconventional naming tradition, are quick to reveal the playful inspiration behind their children's monikers. "We wanted names that not only reflect life's complexities but also bring a smile to people's faces," shares Jack with a chuckle. "And what better way to do that than with a dash of linguistic mischief?"

Firstborn Doer, embodying action and determination, leads the pack, followed closely by Undoer, the perpetual problem-solver and mistake rectifier. Undone, with a name that hints at the ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth, adds depth to the trio. And then there's the youngest, Dude, whose name elicits not just a chuckle but a knowing grin from anyone familiar with the whimsicality of language.

"Dude was a stroke of linguistic playfulness," confesses Emily, a twinkle in her eye. "We couldn't resist the opportunity to inject a bit of humor into our naming tradition. After all, life is too short not to appreciate the lighter side of things."

Despite initial puzzlement from friends and neighbors, the Peterson children have embraced their names with gusto, recognizing the joy and laughter they bring to those around them. From Doer's ambitious endeavors to Dude's penchant for mischief (all in good humor, of course), each child wears their name like a badge of honor, embodying the spirit of their whimsical upbringing.

As the sun sets over the rolling hills of Applewood, one thing is abundantly clear: the Peterson household is not just a place of unique names but also of boundless laughter, infinite curiosity, and the unwavering belief that life is best lived with a healthy dose of linguistic playfulness. And with names like Doer, Undoer, Undone, and Dude, who could argue otherwise?

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G Papa Tango, could you create a Bob and Doug McKenzie dialogue about these four siblings?

[Theme music fades in – clinking beer bottles, chair scraping, faint “coo roo coo coo” humming]

Bob: Okay, welcome back to the Great White North, eh. I’m Bob, this is my brother Doug.

Doug: How’s it goin’, hosers? Today’s topic is — wait, do we have a topic?

Bob: Yeah, we do. I wrote it down on this napkin. [crinkles paper] It says: “Verb forms of ‘do.’”

Doug: Grammar, eh. That’s fancy. Usually we do beer reviews.

Bob: Yeah, but this is, like, educational, ‘cause people always say Canadians don’t care about grammar. Which is wrong — we just care about the good kinds of grammar, not the boring stuff.

Doug: Yeah, like punctuation, eh — if you need more, just draw more dots.

Bob: Exactly. So, we’re gonna teach you the four official Applewood verb forms of “do.” You ready?

Doug: First one is Doer. That’s the person who actually does something. Like, “Bob’s a doer ‘cause he made a grilled cheese without burning it.”

Bob: Second is Undoer. That’s the person who un-does something. Like, “Doug’s an undoer ‘cause he ate my grilled cheese before I could Instagram it.”

Doug: Third one’s Undone. That’s when it’s already wrecked. Example: “My New Year’s resolution is undone ‘cause I ate three butter tarts before breakfast.”

Bob: And the fourth — the past tense — is Dude.

Doug: Not “did,” eh. That’s American.

Bob: Yeah, in proper Applewood English, we say “dude.” Like, “I dude the dishes last night, so the sink’s clean.”

Doug: Or, “We dude the snow shovelling, eh, so now the driveway’s all clear.”

Bob: And it’s not just grammar — Dude is also the youngest sibling in the Applewood family: Doer, Undoer, Undone, and Dude.

Doug: Yeah, Doer builds the shed. Undoer takes the door off ‘cause “it’s more open concept now.” Undone walks by and goes, “This whole thing’s a disaster.”

Bob: And then Dude shows up and says, “Yeah, we totally dude that shed last weekend,” even though he was at Tim Hortons the whole time.

Doug: Speaking of Timmies, eh, this grammar lesson is brought to you by “Grammar in a Can” from Molson. One sip and suddenly you’re conjugating in ways you didn’t even know, eh.

Bob: Yeah, and they got flavours like “Past Perfect Lager” and “Imperative Mood IPA.”

Doug: I had two cans of the IPA and started ordering my dog around in Latin.

Bob: You didn’t have a dog.

Doug: Well, I was yelling at a raccoon, eh.

Bob: Anyway, the main thing is, now you can impress your teachers by knowing all four forms of “do” — Doer, Undoer, Undone, Dude.

Doug: And if anyone says “did,” you just go, “Take off, eh, that’s not in the Canadian dictionary.”

Bob: That’s it for today’s Great White Grammar Lesson.

Doug: Next week: the four tenses of “eh.”

[Theme music swells, bottles clink, one tips over]

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