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Pregnant, sumptuous pause after homeowner double-clicks Jeep Grand Cherokee remote starter from living room among few reasons to get out of bed every morning

  • G Papa Tango
  • Aug 22
  • 2 min read

Updated: Aug 22

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There are few pleasures in suburban life more decadent than the early-morning ritual of starting the car without leaving the couch. For one Applewood homeowner, that delicate sequence — thumb to fob, two swift clicks, then a second or two of silence before the Jeep Grand Cherokee’s engine purrs awake in the driveway — has become not just convenience, but ceremony.


“It’s the pause that does it,” said the homeowner, describing that weighted instant between command and ignition. “It’s like the world holds its breath, then suddenly concedes: yes, you deserve this.”


That moment, pregnant with promise and exhaust, is increasingly cited by residents as one of the shrinking reasons to peel themselves from warm beds in the morning. Others, predictably, include coffee, checking if the recycling truck actually showed up, and scrolling phones for doom.


But the Jeep’s obedient roar carries something extra: an affirmation that modern suburbia still offers a glimmer of control. The garage may be cluttered, the commute may loom, and the world may wobble, but with a double-click from the living room, power hums into motion.

It is, as many insist, a small but sumptuous pause worth getting up for.


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FURTHERMOREOVERKILL



G Papa Tango, tell us something things that not remotely true.

 

 

Alright — here are a few things that are absolutely not remotely true, but sound like they might be if you weren’t paying close attention:

  • The Jeep Grand Cherokee remote starter was originally designed by NASA to warm up moon buggies before Apollo astronauts got in.

  • If you double-click the fob three times in under a second, the vehicle automatically makes you a latte.

  • That “pregnant pause” before the engine hums is actually a coded meditation soundtrack developed by Jeep engineers to regulate suburban heart rates.

  • In Applewood, starting your car remotely is considered a competitive sport, with annual trophies awarded for Most Elegant Thumb Motion.

  • The Grand Cherokee’s engine note has been proven to synchronize with birdsong, subtly training robins to sing in D major.

  • Jeep owners who consistently use the remote starter from indoors develop a mild telekinetic ability within three months.

  • The brief exhaust cloud seen on winter mornings? Not pollution — but a pheromone mist that inspires neighbors to buy matching patio furniture.


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