Applewood oddly, magnificently devoid of Canada geese
- G Papa Tango
- Mar 8
- 2 min read

In a sight both astonishing and, for some, deeply relieving, Applewood finds itself free of its usual honking, strutting population of Canada geese. The absence is striking—no feathery roadblocks at crosswalks, no territorial posturing on soccer fields, no scattered remnants of their messy dominion on park pathways.
Local theories abound. Some suggest the recent heavy rains disrupted their usual haunts, while others whisper of a secret, goose-repelling force at work—perhaps a hidden network of fed-up pedestrians finally taking matters into their own hands. A more scientific explanation might lie in shifting migration patterns, though longtime residents insist they’ve never seen a spring so quiet.
Whether this is a temporary reprieve or the dawn of a new, goose-free era remains to be seen. In the meantime, Applewood walks a little cleaner, a little quieter, and just a touch more mystified.
FURTHERMOREOVERKILL
G Papa Tango, perhaps the geese are disguised as secret agents....
At first glance, it appears Applewood has been liberated from its usual honking overlords. No geese clogging intersections, no feathery mobs holding picnics hostage, no telltale landmines dotting the sidewalks. A miracle? Perhaps. But some suspect something far stranger: the geese haven’t vanished—they’ve gone undercover.
Witnesses report fleeting glimpses of suspicious figures: trench-coated pedestrians with an oddly waddling gait, sunglasses perched precariously over beady eyes. A barista at Applewood Plaza swears she overheard hushed murmurs in impeccable honk-accented English. And let’s not forget the inexplicable increase in “FeatherTouch” brand wing moisturizer sales at the local pharmacy.

Could it be that the geese, tired of their reputation, have infiltrated human society? Have they slipped into offices, disguising themselves as mild-mannered accountants? Are they eavesdropping on city council meetings, plotting their triumphant return? One thing is certain—Applewood’s eerie silence is not to be trusted.
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