Applewood homeowner finally pays off mortgage — meaning of life no less incomprehensible

APPLEWOOD — After decades of steady payments, strategic refinancing, and at least one grim flirtation with variable rates, local homeowner Barry Jenkins has accomplished what many suburban dreamers only fantasize about: he has officially paid off his mortgage.

Standing in his driveway beside a weathered mailbox and the same half-functioning snowblower he bought in 2002, Jenkins described the moment as “surreal but oddly hollow.”

“I thought the bank would throw me a parade, or at least give me a coupon book for life insurance,” he said, clutching the final receipt like a diploma. “But instead, I just stared at the deed and realized I still have no idea why I exist, or what any of this means.”

Neighbors celebrated the milestone with polite applause, though several admitted they were hoping the occasion would unlock some secret wisdom. “I figured once Barry owned his house outright, he’d tell us what comes next—like, do we transcend? Do we get to understand time?” asked longtime neighbor Doris McAllister. “But apparently, it’s just property taxes forever.”

For Jenkins, the achievement has inspired neither enlightenment nor escape, only the familiar rhythm of yard work and hydro bills. “I’ve climbed the mountain,” he sighed. “Turns out it’s just another cul-de-sac.”

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What up with the death - mort - in mortgage, G Papa Tango?

That mort in mortgage does indeed come from the Latin root for “death.”

The word comes via Old French:

• mort = death

• gage = pledge

So a mort-gage is literally a “death pledge.”

But the “death” part isn’t about you keeling over in your bungalow — it’s about the pledge itself dying. The contract comes to an end (i.e., “dies”) when either:

1. The borrower has fully repaid the loan, or

2. The borrower fails to pay, and the lender takes the property.

So the “death” refers to the termination of the agreement, not the borrower.

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