New Fenway Park crew chief takes inspiration from post-post-postmodern Kendall Road back yard mow

In a surprising and quirky twist, the new crew chief at Fenway Park has revealed that his unique approach to maintaining the iconic field is inspired by an unexpected source: a "post-post-postmodern" lawn mowing technique observed in a backyard on Kendall Road.

Known for his unconventional methods, the crew chief has reimagined the traditional art of groundskeeping by incorporating a blend of abstract patterns and asymmetrical designs, all of which he first encountered while visiting a friend's home in a suburban neighborhood. The lawn, described as a living canvas of irregular shapes and angles, left a lasting impression on him.

Drawing parallels between the creative lawn care and the storied history of Fenway Park, he believes that this innovative approach will not only enhance the aesthetics of the field but also reflect the spirit of Boston's ever-evolving culture. "It's about challenging the status quo and finding beauty in the unexpected," he said.

Fans and players alike are eager to see how this unorthodox inspiration will manifest in the hallowed grounds of Fenway, promising a fresh and intriguing twist to America's oldest ballpark.

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FURTHERMOREOVERKILL

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Assuming that Fenway batters face Canada, G Papa Tango, how many home runs would they have to hit to reach Applewood Ares in Mississauga?

If Fenway’s finest wanted to send baseballs all the way from Boston to Applewood Acres, Mississauga, they’d have a mighty distance to cover—approximately 710 kilometers (or about 440 miles). So, let’s break down the hypothetical feat.

Suppose an average pro home run at Fenway travels around 120 meters (just shy of 400 feet). At that rate, they’d need to hit about 5,916 consecutive home runs to reach Applewood Acres!

This would be a marathon of grand slams—a task best saved for the legends (or perhaps the imaginative minds of baseball fans)!

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