New dad overusing panic room
- G Papa Tango
- Jan 24
- 3 min read

In a bizarre twist of parental paranoia, reports are surfacing of a new dad who seems to have developed an unhealthy attachment to his home's panic room. Yes, you heard that right – the panic room! Instead of just a last-resort sanctuary for dire emergencies, this dad has turned it into his own personal safe haven, using it more often than not, and folks, I'm talking about everyday situations here!
I mean, come on, we get it, being a new parent can be stressful. But retreating to a panic room every time the baby cries or there's a diaper change on the horizon? Seriously? It's like he's on a mission to set the record for the most time spent hiding in a fortified space!
Friends and family are understandably concerned. They're wondering if maybe, just maybe, he's taking this whole "protecting the family" thing a tad too far. I mean, sure, safety first and all that jazz, but this feels more like safety on steroids!

Experts are chiming in, too, expressing worries about the psychological toll this could take on both dad and baby. I mean, what kind of message does it send to the little one when Daddy's default response to any hint of stress is to bolt to the panic room faster than you can say "diaper duty"?
Dr. Smith, a renowned psychologist, had this to say: "It's crucial for new parents to find healthy coping mechanisms for stress. Hiding in a panic room at the drop of a pacifier isn't exactly what we had in mind."
But hey, let's give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he'll come to his senses and realize that there are other, less extreme ways to deal with the trials and tribulations of parenthood. Until then, we'll just have to keep our fingers crossed and hope that he doesn't accidentally lock himself in there for good!
G Papa Tango, please create a note in morse code sent out by somebody accidentally locked in his own panic room? He needs rescuing. BTW, he's a new father. Please include an English translation.
Sure, here's the note in Morse code:
.. / ... . . -. -.. / .- -. -.. .. -.-. .-.. -.. / --- -. / .... .- ...- . / .. ... / .- -. -.. .. -.-. .-.. -.. / .. -. / .... --- .--. . / .--. .- -. .. -.-. / .-. --- -- / .-.. .- ... -.-. .- .-.. / --- -. / .... . .-.. .-.. -.-- / .--. .-.. . -.-. .. --- ..- ... / .- -. -.. / .--. ..- - . .-. .. -. -.-. .-.. -.-- / .-. . .- -.-. ...- .. -. --. / -... - .-- / -... -.-- / -.-- --- ..- / .. .----. -- / -. .-.. . -.-. . / ..-. .- .. .-. / - .... .. ... / .-. . ... -.-. .. .-.. .-.. / -.-. --- -- -- ..- .-. .- -.. -.-- / .- -. -.. / .... .- ...- . / .- / -. . ..-. .- .-. -.. / -.-. .-. --- ...- . -. --. ..
And the English translation:
"I send an SOS signal online. Please rescue me. Father. Confirm that I'm stuck. Coordinates: 52.760195, -1.865667. And this room is really cold."

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