Fully ten years after moving from Big Smoke, Applewood homeowner prepared to concede cargo shorts’ superiority
- G Papa Tango
- Aug 8
- 2 min read

After a decade-long battle of fashion versus function, an Applewood homeowner is on the brink of a surprising surrender: conceding the unparalleled superiority of cargo shorts. Yes, you heard it right—cargo shorts!
A decade ago, this homeowner bid farewell to the frenetic pace of the Big Smoke, seeking refuge and tranquility in the idyllic streets of Applewood. Back then, cargo shorts were seen as nothing more than oversized pockets with legs attached, hardly worthy of consideration in the realm of style and sophistication. Oh, how times have changed!
For years, this homeowner staunchly resisted the allure of cargo shorts, favoring more tailored and fashionable alternatives like chinos and denim. But as the years rolled by and suburban life settled in, practicality began to chip away at their resolve.
Enter cargo shorts—the unsung heroes of convenience, with pockets spacious enough to hold a myriad of household essentials. From keys to tools to snacks for impromptu yard work, cargo shorts proved their worth time and time again, slowly but surely inching their way into the homeowner's daily routine.
And now, as the sun sets on another day in Applewood, the homeowner stands at a crossroads, gazing wistfully into their wardrobe where cargo shorts reign supreme. It's a reluctant acknowledgment, born out of necessity rather than choice—a humbling realization that sometimes, function must triumph over fashion.

In the annals of Applewood's history, this momentous concession will surely be remembered as a victory for pragmatism and practicality. For this homeowner, it's a bitter pill to swallow, but ultimately, a testament to the enduring appeal of cargo shorts in the suburban landscape.
As they say, home is where the heart is, and perhaps, in this case, it's also where the cargo shorts are.
FURTHERMOREOVERKILL
So, G Papa Tango, how much cargo can we fit into cargo shorts?
Ah, the age-old question: just how much cargo can cargo shorts carry?
Let’s break it down scientifically (and a bit dramatically):
🩳 Standard Cargo Shorts Anatomy:
Most cargo shorts come with:
2 regular front pockets
2 back pockets
2 big side cargo pockets (the stars of the show)
Sometimes: 1-2 smaller utility pockets (e.g., for tools, pens, or your dignity)
🏋️ Capacity Estimate (by volume):
Front pockets: ~0.5–0.7 liters each
Back pockets: ~0.5 liters each
Side cargo pockets: ~1–1.5 liters each
Bonus pockets: ~0.2–0.3 liters each

🧮 Total volume: roughly 4–5.5 liters of stuff.
That’s equivalent to:
A six-pack of soda
A paperback novel, a phone, wallet, keys, a sandwich, and a backup sandwich
Or, in pure unhinged dad-mode: a tape measure, pocketknife, granola bar, receipts from 2009, and three AA batteries
☝️ Caveats:
You’ll walk like a rattling toolbox if you fill them to the brim.
You risk becoming the pack mule of any hiking trip.
Overload them, and the shorts might rebel (or fall down).
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